Beach God

Fred Aven

Beach God

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“Stroll into a beach and what do you see…. All those gorgeous babes strutting around in the tiniest of beach wear! Doesn’t that make you want you want to rip off your T-shirt and show them your guns?”

Adeline Gear, Android Shock

This game that helps answer one of life’s most important questions: Are you a Beach God? When we first learnt that Dimitris, one of our favourite developers, was leaving UNIT9 to head off into the unknown, it hit us hard. After spending five years working together, saying goodbye to such an amazing friend was certainly going to be difficult. But instead of succumbing to sorrow, we decided to give Dimitris a grand UNIT9 send-off: We surprised him with his own game!

Beach God

Directed by Helpful Strangers, BEACH GOD was inspired by Dimitris’ upcoming beach vacation. How does Dimitris relax? By picking up the choicest beach babes and wearing his signature Speedos of course.

Flex your guns to impress as many beach babes as possible, but be careful because you’ll go home alone (again) if you overexert yourself! Not that you need any more convincing but Beach God features the ability to take Dimitris with you everywhere, as well as 16-bit graphics that will make your inner hipster feel like a kid again.

There are fancy leaderboards so you can size up your competition, and motivating in-game achievements to reward your babe scoring streak.

You also have the ability to brag amongst your bros on Facebook and Twitter about the number of beach-babes you swooned on, without the hassle of actually going to a beach and scoring the babes.

“Victor Hugo wrote that the greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. This inner struggle is perfectly envisioned in the unanimous person in Beach God, whose very existence depends on his acceptance by women, who go past him on a metaphoric beach.”

Android Rundown
Beach God

Finally, rumour has it that if you reach over 1,000 points the Beach God loses his stripy speedo. BEACH GOD is the penultimate guide to impressing fine babes on the beach. Consider it the “Bro Code Beach Edition,” presented by the muscular Greek form of the ever-impressive male specimen. The game is available for free on iTunes and Google Play.

“Beach God is self-evidently impossible, but in that maddeningly addictive way.”

Android Police